in reverie, in vivo

my dreams are vivid. they are detailed and heavily plot-intensive; if i can remember it clearly enough to recount it to another person once, i will remember it forever. there are characters, storylines, plots, subplots, intrigue, and in at least one incident, a soundtrack. my dreams are vibrant and in pulsating technicolor. typically, colors play a significant role in my memories of dreams. (note to self: use “memories of dreams” if writing angsty, bad poetry.) in those dreams, i am often myself realized to a single extreme. more often than not, i am everything i have ever wanted to be, because these are after all, my dreams. (however, not always)

when sleeping, i am kind, generous, funny, clever beyond expectation. my shrewdness never outweighs my compassion. i can say the right thing at the right time. i don’t hurt anyone, with or without intention. the challenges i face make me stronger, and i can enumerate the ways in which they do. i never feel beaten down or overwhelmed – the price of lessons learned are never too dear a cost.

conversely, albeit less frequently, i also have my flaws magnified – my impatience, my stubbornness, my ego, my self-righteousness. but each challenge makes me stronger. but without fail, the greater lesson comes when i awake, faced with my knowledge of my penchant for these.

i don’t think of myself as a hippie-dippy new age sorta gal (but i have been accused of being a “dirty hippie” on more than one occasion – still trying to figure out why). i can be, and am often pragmatic to a fault. people think i’m brave and realize my dreams because they are dreams – i do this because i am pushy to a fault with myself, and am afraid to try 325 other ways to make myself better and stronger. but i do have an idealistic streak a mile wide that i force myself to temper with knowledge so i descend into neither naivete nor cynicsm. i laugh at myself when i’m ridiculous in my dreams. but each challenge, each success, makes me stronger and more knowledgeable. and the greater lesson comes when i awake, faced with the knowledge for my penchant for each of these.

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One response to “in reverie, in vivo

  1. do you keep a journal of your dreams? I know some people do. It’d be interesting to see how your dreams have changed shape through experiences and time, or if they do.
    My dreams are seldom anything outstanding and usually are just right there beyond reach or memory, a fuzzy haze.

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