i’ve been having dreams that are so stressful to me that i wake up with a tension headache and in a foul mood. they consist of moving out of apartments, having to evict tenants for drug use, and last night’s dream – not being able to put on a wedding dress.
in last night’s dream, i was getting ready to be married to mr. pants (who never appeared in the dream) in a victorian house. okay, we were going to be married in the gazebo outside of the house. and it was 6:50 pm, and i was just trying to find a room where i could put on my wedding dress. i went all over this bloomin’ mansion (it was HUGE) and couldn’t find a single room to get ready in. then someone who worked at the event facility told me that usually the brides get ready in the bathroom. and i thought that was a terrible plan, because my dress could get wet or dirty and i basically loathe having my shoes off in a public bathroom. (side note: my dress was about the shade of brown that unbleached butcher paper is with tiny blue flowers and an ugly waist wrap thing that was on alison’s paper dress that got her kicked off of project runway)
i decided that i needed to get a room. so there was a small, informal dining room that many of the guests and staff were using to work on small projects. (why the guests needed to work on projects? dunno) i decided to use that room, and went in and announced that i needed the room to get dressed, and everyone needed to leave. the fatal flaw in my plan was that there were 6 doors to the room, none of which locked. so i begged someone to find my mom to help me empty the room. my mom came in, people kept coming and going. whenever the room would be almost empty, new people would come in. so i’d get really unpleasant and order everyone out of the room – from the top of the dining room table – and almost everyone would leave, including my mom. so i’d beg her to come back, and she’d be hesitatant but would come back, however a ton more people would come in. i also suddenly realized that i had never arranged for a photographer. i eventually had a breakdown, started crying and begging everyone to leave. then it was finally just my mom and i. and suddenly, robin williams entered the room. and wouldn’t leave, but was doing his spastic robin williams-ness.
so i threatened to break a wine bottle over his head.*
then i woke up.
*in my head this was the perfect threat because he’d be all fresh out of rehab and not want contact with wine. however the bottle was empty and he still wouldn’t leave.