mystery scratches

once again, i have to wonder precisely who inhabits my body.

because on tuesday night, i noticed that my ankle was stinging and sore, and looked and saw these scratches. they’re healing now but still hurt (you can also see that i haven’t shaved my legs today – stupid brunetteness…).

i still have no clue how i got them.

or why my peroneal tendons are SO swollen.

so clearly, someone else lives inside of me, injures me, and allows me to reinhabit my body again later to share in the bumps, bruises, scratches, and swelling. woohoo!

(and excuse my heels. i have hyperkeratosis. hence my addiction to pumice stones and pedicures. and other things starting with “p”.)

i am a wreck, clearly.

8 responses to “mystery scratches

  1. well, that is just the biggest mystery. I wonder if the being who inhabits your body has a blog and is now posting, as we speak, the as-yet-by-us unknown antics he engages in while being you. That’d be a good read, I’ll bet…

    also, I’d love to have heels half as nice as yours. You should see my sad wonders.

  2. OK, 3 things really freaked me out bout this posting…

    1) The picture: When me first open you page, it not look like you heel. Me first thought was some kind of strange member/apendage that make me think “Oh NO! Get it away!! OH!” Then me look and see big thumb without thumbnail. Again, yuck. Then me see it as heel and feel little bit better, till…

    B) Dyslexia hit me big time: Me misread “peroneal tendons” as “personal tendons.” Here me had to stop and contemplate WHAT “person tendons” am, WHERE they am on the body, IF they just “girl thing” and what you could have over done to make them SO swollen. Took me few, but me eventually reread.

    III) UFO’s. That am only answer. You not have other person in you body! That am silly! That am crazy talk. You am crazy. It am UFO’s. They am abducting you and they am not being nice about it. They am scratching you and swelling you “personal tendons.” Good luck with that.

    P.S. Me also misread hyperkeratosis as hyperhalitosis, but that not freak me out.

  3. Alien abduction explains those scratches. They had to take a skin cell sample from somewhere and thought that was a place you’d be unlikely to notice. They did not take into account, however, your pedicure/foot care obsession.

    I thought it was a thumb at first, too. Weird. Monstee and I are on the same wavelength.

  4. i think josé cuervo may be living inside of you. i once had that problem. it takes a lot to get him out, so i would just try to pass out before any serious injuries could happen. just a suggestion.

  5. okay, monstee and littlegoat? you should hang out in the cave and discuss aliens and thumbs.

    jay are, this is the only thing that’s worked to give me smoothish heels – but you have to follow it up with something finer, like a pumice stone to smooth it off.

    crystal – i’m POSITIVE it’s not jose. it’s possible it’s dmitri stolichynaya, but not the most likely as we only hang out like ever 6-8 weeks.

  6. You were attacked by a band of ninjas that try to wear you down with paper cuts.

    You know, back in 1868, when I was a young man, a lady showing her heel would cause quite a stir in town. Zowee, mama!

  7. heatherfeather

    i do whatever i can to get you to call me mama.

  8. thanks for the foot tip….they always trip you up, tho, with this whole matter of actually having to do it for an extended period of time. I want an overnight, one-application, miracle cure. :)

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