jack bauer and the magic hoodie

this post isn’t quite timely. it’s based in an episode of 24 from 2 weeks ago. if you haven’t seen that episode and you don’t want to know what happens in this episode, yet continue to read this post anyway, suck it because this is your spoiler alert.

actually i don’t even know if i’ll talk about anything that’s spoilerish in nature, but just in case.

once upon a time a counterterrorist specialist named jack decided to save the world, one grueling twenty-four hour period at a time. in this, the fifth time he’s trying to save the world, he’s battling terrorists who have acquired a nerve agent called CentoxTM*, which appears to be a brand name for VX nerve gas which was also mixed with a corrosive element. (because we evidently need to trademark our chemical weapons since we’re a capitalist country? when you want death to be certain, be certain it’s CentoxTM!)

in the episode a 2 weeks ago, it had been released into CTU, and, of course the corrosive element was eating away at the seals of the rooms that had not been exposed to the CentoxTM. he decided he’d run out of the safe room, create an airlock, then go into the contaminated areas in order to save the world that hour. with only a plan to hold his breath for a really long time, he put his hoodie over his head, took a deep breath, and ran into the nerve gas.

his hoodie was so amazing and magical that it kept the CentoxTM from getting in his eyes, corroding his skin, or finding any abrasions, entering his system that way.

in addition, although jack was not able to save the day (due to a security grate preventing his access to the A/C unit), with the help of his magic hoodie, jack was able to go back to the antechamber to his airlock, re-enter his airlock that didn’t have any sort of negative pressure unit attached, decontaminate, and breathe freely again! all without letting any CentoxTM into the airlock. his magic hoodie also repelled CentoxTM from all his clothes and skin and he was able to enter the safe room contaminant-free once more.

the moral of our story is: when you’re navigating an aerosolized nerve agent, be sure to bring your magic hoodie.

oh, and when you want death to be certain, be certain it’s CentoxTM!

*thanks moocow for the html tutorial for superscripting

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6 responses to “jack bauer and the magic hoodie

  1. Why do you hate America so?

  2. Clearly, Jack was wearing an enchanted hoodie fashioned from the golden fleece of the magical ram.

  3. Hmmm…can you knit a magic hoodie? Your hoodie-knitting expertise might come in mighty handy during a biochemical attack.

  4. jack is a warrior.

  5. I was under the impression (from back in my Air Force Days) that VX didn’t exist in gaseous form. Was I misinformed by the CBR trainer during my gas chamber training?

  6. steve – VX is indeed a liquid agent, which is somewhat misleading since it is called a nerve gas. and it aerosolizes well, too.

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