or as i like to call it, thursday

i’ve been a very sad creature the past 24 hours. actually the past 5 months, but more so the past day.

i feel lonely, and i miss my dad, and i am tired of feeling compelled to tell people that if i’m remote or distant, or uncommunicative it’s because i’m sad and lonely.

while i’d love to reach out to people and say “hey! i’m sad, but would like to sit quietly with someone, anyone and not have to talk or have people cheer me up or even watch movies” i am also having a hard time imagining being around people. i’m ignoring phone calls and not responding to emails because i don’t really want to be with someone, anyone either.

so while i’m confused and lonely, i have to figure things out. sorry if i owe you call or an email or a visit. hopefully i’ll be able to do that soon.

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6 responses to “or as i like to call it, thursday

  1. (((cyber hugs to you)))

    they’re a lot easier to take from strangers than real hugs! :o)

  2. I don’t think anyone would expect you to be happy and energetic after the loss of a father. Even if it’s been years, it stays with you forever, obviously. Being sad about it is normal.

    I haven’t lost a parent, but I have lost a friend and an Uncle…and there are no words to really describe the kind of pain that comes from it. I think if I lost my father, my world might fall apart.

    Now this message is getting too long. But the point is, you have to tell people, cause if you close yourself off, then your heart will close too.

    Look at me trying to be insightful on blogger. Oh well, I hope things are better tomorrow.

  3. The double-edged sword of being lonely is that it makes you not want to have people around. Vicious cycle. If I knew how to solve that problem, well, I’d be a guru.

  4. Understood.

    Take care of yourself, love.

    *hugs and nuzzles*

  5. It’s okay to be sad. It’s normal when you lose someone to grieve. Take the time you need to be sad. It will help you later.

  6. fill in the blank with anything fun you want: i’m gonna be in d-town in two weeks and we’re going to __________________ constantly and to such a degree that you won’t know what to do with yourself and you won’t be able to live your life the same way afterwards. being a very sad creature will not be possible.

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