open letter

dear couple in the white subaru outback on university blvd. at 6:30 pm,

hi! i don’t know you but i noticed a few things today, and thought you’d like to know them. helpful tips and all. anyhoo, when someone’s leaving a driveway and university’s packed, it’s not REQUIRED, but generally considered nice to let someone in a driveway turn in front of you. i mean, there’s a red light at exposition, and you aren’t really slowing down any by doing that. besides, at that time of day people are generally making right turns and not foolish enough to attempt a left across 4 lanes of traffic blocking everyone else on the road. however, it’s not required, so blocking the driveway is both legal and your right. and i wanted to thank you for eventually scooting up so that i fit behind you since the next car waved me through. that was nice – at a green light at that hour you can sit there for months! what was also nice was the fact i could see that the two of you had your ginormous dog sitting on the console between the front seats and were taking turns making him (or her – i couldn’t really tell because it was dark, and stuff) kiss you on the mouths with his tongue. it was sweet. first the dog would kiss the driver, then the passenger, then you’d both kiss the dog, then kiss each other. i got to watch this touching love fest between people and dog for a good 3 minutes. it’s nice to know all the love’s not gone from the world. and i wouldn’t really worry about the need to see out of your rearview mirror, anyway.

well, that’s all from me – maybe i’ll see you again sometime!

enjoy your evening,
heatherfeather

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4 responses to “open letter

  1. Is this the sarcasm thing I hear so much about?

    And by the way, your hair looks great after your last dyqedgb.

  2. God bless you word verification.

  3. There are times when it’d just be so great to own a piece-of-crap car, be a billionaire so money was no object (‘course then I wouldn’t be driving a heap so there might be a few holes in the scenario) and just RAM into stupid stupid drivers. Think how utterly satisfying it would be sometimes. You could play real-life Bash Arena (a dumb computer game my kids play).
    I’m sure they appreciate your tips. Maybe they’ll even let you kiss their dog.

  4. >And by the way, your hair looks great after your last dyqedgb.

    and straight men have a bad rap for not noticing details enough…

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