i ache in my head from the, well, headache.
but even more difficult is how much i ache in my heart without my guitar. even though i hadn’t played much before leaving denver, i would usually at least pick up the guitar for 5 minutes a day or so…
and i’m still stuck on “center of your heart” by matthew lee, and all i want to do is play that song and make it my own (google around until you find the post on how much i suck at songwriting), and adopt “the one thing i know” by christine kane again, to take command of “kathy’s song” as well as hijack “laughter in your head” by danielle howle and “the shining” by badly drawn boy.
i want to hear the words that build up inside me that have no english correspondent and are only found in the resonance of the strings, that are only whispered in a harmonic.
i just want to talk through song instead of trying to find my own “words that tear and strain to rhyme…”
but instead i sit in the 90 degree heat of my room at night with piles of wool on my lap. i can’t advise against being covered in wool in 90 degree heat enough. i try to get pedicures and haircuts and yoga mats to take the place of my guitar.
but i’m left empty handed waiting for a chance to actually communicate again instead of being rendered mute in the white noise that spills from my face…