i have an ache

i ache in my head from the, well, headache.

but even more difficult is how much i ache in my heart without my guitar. even though i hadn’t played much before leaving denver, i would usually at least pick up the guitar for 5 minutes a day or so…

and i’m still stuck on “center of your heart” by matthew lee, and all i want to do is play that song and make it my own (google around until you find the post on how much i suck at songwriting), and adopt “the one thing i know” by christine kane again, to take command of “kathy’s song” as well as hijack “laughter in your head” by danielle howle and “the shining” by badly drawn boy.

i want to hear the words that build up inside me that have no english correspondent and are only found in the resonance of the strings, that are only whispered in a harmonic.

i just want to talk through song instead of trying to find my own “words that tear and strain to rhyme…”

but instead i sit in the 90 degree heat of my room at night with piles of wool on my lap. i can’t advise against being covered in wool in 90 degree heat enough. i try to get pedicures and haircuts and yoga mats to take the place of my guitar.

but i’m left empty handed waiting for a chance to actually communicate again instead of being rendered mute in the white noise that spills from my face…

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4 responses to “i have an ache

  1. i know it’s not the same – but you are in the big apple. find a music store, prefereably one that has sound proof rooms (rare, but i’ve seen them) and hole up for a few minutes under the guise of buying a guitar. then make friends with the sales guy. lather, rinse, repeat.

  2. I doubt this will help, but I thought that a yarn-capable person such as yourself would get a kick out of it…

    http://www.threadbared.com/

  3. oh thank god. i thought the title said “i have acne.” cuz it is hard to get rid of that.

  4. I wonder, is there like an old secondhand store somewhere in New York City? I bet if there is one, they might have an old beater guitar that you could get on the cheap. Then you’d be able to jam… and you could sell it at the end.

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